The Age of Adaline

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Lee Toland Krieger/Starring: Blake Lively, Harrison Ford, Ellen Burstyn, Kathy Baker and Michael Huisman

Every time I saw the trailer for Lee Toland Krieger's film, I would change the title in my head to The Age of Asinine. After seeing The Age of Adaline, I feel my title would have been more appropriate. And it is one of those films that gets dumber in recollection. I'm not sure what story screenwriters J. Mills Goodloe and Salvador Paskowitz had in their heads when they penned this travesty but if what plays onscreen is an accurate reflection of their artistic intent, we know who to blame.

Krieger's film doesn't have the whimsy and playfulness of his comedy Celeste and Jessie Forever, which is too bad because how he and the screenwriters could tell such a gimmicky, earnest story without a wink or a smirk is beyond me.

And the story is Gimmicky (that's right, a capital G is in order). A woman named Adaline Bowman (Blake not-so Lively); born in early 20th century America, nearly dies in a car accident when she is flung from her vehicle. She becomes submerged in water, unconscious. The god-like narration explains in minute, scientific detail just how she not only manages to survive, but also how her body stops aging. Of course this phenomenon is accomplished with a lightning bolt and some processes that are explained with technical mumbo jumbo.

Though the story is set in 2015, much of the story takes place in Adaline's past as we see how this extraordinary phenomenon affects her life. Though the idea of immortality may be appealing to many, Adaline finds arrested aging comes with much unpleasantness.

Her condition makes it necessary for her to avoid relationships, for obvious reasons, which means her life must also be secretive and lived itinerantly, lest her peculiarity be discovered. Her quest to live anonymously is borne of her fear of becoming a laboratory specimen.

The lone keeper of her secret is her daughter Flemming (the elder version played by Ellen Burstyn, who does penance in this film); now a silver-haired senior who has lived the normal life denied her mother. Their easy rapport tells us they've both accepted the strangeness. Other than being her mom's elder, Flemming doesn't seem to factor in to the story very much. And poor Burstyn; she has to utter awful lines like "You'll always be my momma."

But Adaline has other problems. A youngish stud named Ellis Jones (Michael Huisman), a man who earned his wealth as a college student when he invented an algorithm that had economic applications, falls in love with her. Though she rebuffs him, for very practical reasons, he is persistent and before long, she falls for him against her better judgement.

We see, via flashbacks, how she once fell in love with an American man during an English sojourn in the early 70s'. Later, after the relationship gained momentum, we see her in a cab, en route to her lover, who sits on a park bench with an engagement ring in his hands. She tells the cab driver to motor on; thus abandoning another love; sparing he and herself heartbreak. This moment in her life will figure prominently later in the story.

The film reaches a climax during a Jones family weekend get-together when Adaline meets Ellis' parents. His father William (Harrison Ford) and Adaline are dumbstruck when they meet. It turns out (one might have seen this coming earlier in the story) William is the man Adaline left waiting on the park bench. William, stupefied, tells Adaline she bears an uncanny resemblance to a woman he was once close to named Adaline Bowman. Adaline has the presence of mind to explain she is the daughter of the woman and mentions, to William's sorrow, that her mother passed away, years before. The ruse seems to work, though Adaline's presence stirs William to distraction, which causes his wife Kathy (Kathy Baker) great anxiety as she becomes suspicious of her husband's past.

But during the weekend, William catches sight of a scar on Adaline's hand, which he remembers from an accident in the past. The shocking realization prompts a confrontation with William then her flight from the Jones home, which leaves Ellis in despair. And during her escape from the Jones' home, she--wouldn't you know it--gets into an accident. And what do you think happens? Ellis arrives in hot pursuit, hoping to rescue and reclaim his love. During this scene, the annoying, omniscient narrator returns to describe in detail--once again--the miraculous chain of events that follow. I'll leave the rest to you to suss out.

If this all sounds like fascinating material for a great movie, trust me, there is less here than meets your heavy eye-lids.

Among the film's legion of shortcomings is Adaline herself. For a 107 year-old woman in a twenty-something's body, her life is stubbornly ordinary and it leaves one wondering why eternal youth would be wasted on someone so vapid. Yes, we see she can kick butt at Trivial Pursuit during the Jones family weekend and has exceptional powers of perception but so what? What else is there? Other than being unable to have normal relationships, what does her condition mean to her? To her daughter? Might there be advantages in being a hundred year-old twenty-something? Sure, it would be a hassle to have to change one's identity every so often but would it be such a drag to be perpetually in one's sexual prime? The film doesn't have the imagination to explore any idea the premise might engender. Harold Ramis' Groundhog Day shows us what it might be like to live one day over and over again in a very inventive and clever way. I wish The Age of Adeline had one second of that film's wit and whimsy.

I found little things vexing too. The fact that William gave up medicine to become an astronomer is a big deal in the story, as is his discovery of a comet. So why does Ellis have a book on astrology in his bedroom? Wouldn't the son of an astronomer know the difference between his father's field of study and a pseudo-science? What's that about? I realize it's a trifle, but it seemed glaring to me.

Blake Lively's performance is one of the film's major handicaps. She doesn't explore her character or go deeper than looking pretty. Maybe the script called for an incurious bombshell who kicks butt in board games? I also found her voice to be quite odd. She sounded somewhat stiff, as we sometimes hear when British actors or actresses affect an American accent. This might be a first in American cinema; an American actress putting on an American accent.

I felt sorriest for Ellen Burstyn. An actress with her talent and exceptional career playing second banana to an underwhelming, blonde yo-yo like Lively must feel like a career low, I'm sure.

So what do we learn from Adaline and her situation? Not much. Nor did I come away moved from the flick in any way. Makes sense, nothing seems to move her much either, other than a garage that was formerly a movie theater back in her day. The canopy of stars that once graced the ceiling is shown to still be intact, which she proudly shows Ellis on a date. Oh, I almost forgot, she also loves her dog. Geez, I don't think I can handle all her layers.

Wait a second; there is one lesson to be learned from Adaline's experiences: take your date to a garage that was once a movie theater rather than to a movie theater playing The Age of Adaline.