The Judge

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: David Dobkin/Starring Robert Downey Jr., Robert Duvall, Vera Farmiga, Vincent D'Onofrio, Billy Bob Thornton, Leighton Meester and Dax Shepard

The Judge is thoroughly Hollywood; which is to say that it has a gimmicky premise, formulaic plot and it's limited ambitions make it excellent content for a flat screen T.V. rather than compelling cinema. There is very little here that doesn't fit into some neat narrative box and though it would like to be a moving drama, it's more a flavorless, toothless, snooze smorgasbord with marquee actors.

Robert Downey Jr. could play Hank Palmer in a coma. Palmer is a brilliant defense attorney practicing in Chicago who can keep the most vile creep from serious jail-time and/or jail. Downey specializes in portraying arrogant jerks. Hank Palmer is Tony Stark without the playful sense of humor and limitless ingenuity.

We first see Palmer discussing a particular case with his opponent in a men's room--that reliable zone of neutrality where attorneys cross verbal sabers. He seems well on his way to successfully defending another low-life without a twinge of regret or a wound to his conscience.

We also see what Palmer's unfortunate home-life is like; an imminent divorce and a semi-neglected child who he loves and hopes to connect with in time.

Palmer receives a call during the trial which necessitates a return to his hometown of Carlinville, Indiana. He is more than happy to leave his wife but is pained by the idea of having to take leave of his daughter.

Carlinville is Hollywood's every-smalltown U.S.A; the mythical, Elysian burg that exists only in the imagination of filmmakers who think people who leave such places are jerks and those who seek a more stimulating urban life are suckers. Palmer is one of those characters that mainstream movies love to pillory; the individual who hates his small town origins and has become something monstrous by embracing big city life. We've seen this con job countless times in cinema; the metropolitan professional needs to return to his smalltown roots to realize what a jackass he or she has been. It's a musty, rusty story device studio heads and producers never seem to discard.

We learn Palmer has returned to his hometown for his mother's funeral but also to reunite with his family, particularly his father Joseph Palmer (Robert Duvall), with whom he shares an acrimonious relationship. His father also happens to a judge of 42 years and a crochety one at that.

But Joseph is only one of a pool of skeletons with whom Hank must contend in his hometown: an older brother Glen (Vincent D'Onofrio) whose professional baseball prospects were cut short when a car Hank was driving crashed, permanently injuring his hand and a former girlfriend Samantha Powell (Vera Farmiga), who still carries a torch for him and whose daughter may or may not be his. But his main adversary is Joseph, who can't share a cubic inch of breathable air with his son without figurative blades being drawn.

If Joseph's wife's death weren't enough, Hank learns his father has terminal cancer, which awakens some sympathy in him. And if that also weren't enough for a family to endure, Joseph takes his car out one night and either deliberately or inadvertantly runs a man riding his bike off the road, which results in the cyclist's death. The victim turns out to be a murderer Joseph once judged leniently, and who has just been released from prison. The suspicion of Joseph intentionally assaulting the man to right a wrong becomes a bone of legal contention.

Doesn't this all sound like a desperate attempt to make formula edgy and weighty? And just how dusty are the plot developments and characters? Are we surprised to find an estranged father, a pining former love and a sibling with a serious grievance all waiting for Hank in his hometown? Once the trial begins and Hank becomes his father's lawyer, the prosecuting attorney Dwight Dickham (and just how subtle is that villainous name, eh? Poor Billy Bob Thornton) is yet another character who has some issue with Hank. We learn Hank represented another social dreg in the past who Dickham wanted to put away but escaped a serious conviction. Dickham is out to even the score by proving Hank's father is a killer.

How much would one wager that the father/son conflict will be ironed out after the son tries to prove his father's innocence in court? And will Samantha and Hank mend their frayed relationship? Will Glen forgive Hank for his disabled hand and an aborted baseball career? The director and screenwriter aren't daring enough to leave any loose ends untied.

The film has a few moments that almost spark. Duvall and Downey Jr. share a few scenes where their mutual animosity takes leave of the mapped script to portray something life-like.

The court case also manages one surprise while the verdict is a win/lose outcome that brings little satisfaction to the Palmer family and to an audience expecting something more devastating.

Why the film had to be so slavishly predictable, canned and stubbornly cliched is a puzzle. Just because the story is gimmicky, doesn't mean it has to be dull. Given the exciting previews for films like Interstellar, Birdman, Inherent Vice and Fury, The Judge comes off as something grandma once stitched on a doily. It's old fashioned and offers noone in the cast a nuanced character or dialogue worth uttering. I can't imagine what Duvall and Downey found challenging about the script. Maybe both had cost-prohibitive, home improvement projects their movie salaries addressed nicely.

Of the ten or so patrons in the audience, someone actually clapped afterward. I was tempted to ask the person if the applause was sincere or sarcastic. It could have also been a case of erratic motor activity. But then again, it could have been real. If so, it might be fascinating to learn just what the person found engaging about the movie.

Nah.