Dirty Grandpa

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Dan Mazer/Starring: Robert De Niro, Zac Efron, Dermot Mulroney, Julianne Hough, Zoey Deutch, Aubrey Plaza, Adam Pally, Brandon Mychal Smith and Danny Glover

Now that 2015 is pretty much in the archives, film-wise--with some Oscar contenders still trickling into theaters--the Season of Swill (runs from January to roughly the end of April, unofficially) has begun in earnest. We are all familiar with the S of S because the films that studios dare not premier in late December are tossed like filthy rags into the January/February refuse pile. Usually the worst films of the year turn up here if they turn up at all. This time of year is toughest on cinephiles because the Oscar contenders have been consumed and digested by late January, which leaves us at the mercy of said Hollywood discards.

Let the preceding paragraph serve as a preamble to Dirty Grandpa, director Dan Mazer's rarely funny but hyper-crude comedy about a grandfather; Dick Kelly (Robert De Niro) and his efforts to bond with his grandson Jason (Zac Efron). It is reasonable to assume the film is inspired by Bad Grandpa; which starred Johnny Knoxville as a grandfather who is often a very bad role model for his grandson. Mazer's film doesn't restrain its anti-pc approach to comedy. Everyone and everything is fodder for dumb jokes about homophobia and Jason's lack of manly resolve. A few jokes test the boundaries of good taste, such as a naked Jason being mistaken for a pedophile on the beach. I've never been a prude and I do appreciate filth when it is actually funny (Matt Stone and Trey Parker's Team America made me laugh heartily) but the dirt in Mazer's film is dirty but it's smut of the gratuitous variety; and yes, not very funny at all. Some scenes and some characters earned a few chuckles but for the most part, the movie is dull and nigh tedious.

The story and characters themselves are mostly plucked from an assembly line and follow a predictable course. Jason, an uptight, preppy-ish stiff is set to marry Meredith (Julianne Hough); a squeaky-clean, very white (why they made her Jewish is puzzling; she's all WASP) more uptight version of himself. His job at his father's law firm is firmly set; a perfect life seems all but assured.

Jason's grandmother has just passed away, which brings together his father, David (Dermot Mulroney) and his grandfather Dick (Robert De Niro); who has been mostly absent from his son and grandson's lives.
Though tensions between Dick and his family are rife, he insists one of his wife's last wishes was to see him unite with his grandson. And though Jason is a week from his wedding, Dick coerces him into driving him to Florida as part of a bonding experience. Highly reluctant, Jason agrees, knowing his grandfather's cataracts have denied the ability to drive himself.

From the outset, we see Dick is hardly shy about slinging F-bombs about and is even less shy about expressing his desire for sex. The film goes to great lengths to feminize Jason; to make him seem like his wife's castrated puppy. Dick is ever ready to call attention to his grandson's prissy nature; even mocking the vehicle they are forced to drive to Florida: Meredith's hot-pink Mini-Cooper (an easy target, eh?). It also doesn't help that the khakis, polo shirt and a sweater wrapped around his neck make Jason look and seem positively asexual.

At a restaurant stop along the way, Dick derides Jason's decision to become a lawyer at his father's firm and mentions that his grandson once had a passion for photography. The moment we learn of Jason's real avocation, we know precisely where his character will go. One of Hollywood's mustiest cliches is the character who has forsaken a creative, artistic pursuit for a legal or corporate career, which is funny when one considers how the studios are run almost exclusively by both types.

At a table out of earshot, two young women and a young black guy deride Jason's preppy get-up, which inspires word-play such as "he looks like Abercrombie f-ed Fitch." One of the young women, Shadia (Zoey Deutch), recognizes Jason from a school photography class. When she approaches him, he mistakes her for the waitress and hands her the money for the bill. Miffed at being ignored, she and her friends run off with the money. Discovering his mistake, he sees the three making a hasty escape. When he catches up with them, Jason finally recognizes Shadia. Romantic embers begin to burn. We also know where this is headed. Earlier, in the restaurant, Shadia's friend Lenore (Aubrey Plaza) stated her sexual objective of sleeping with three different kinds of men, one of them being a professor. When Dick introduces himself as such outside the restaurant, she is frank about what she wants to do to him, which he hardly finds insulting. Their black, gay, friend Tyrone (Brandon Mychel Smith), immediately becomes the butt of Dick's gay jokes. Tyrone's gayness and blackness is Hollywood's efficient way of meeting a minority quota.

En route to Florida, Dick forces Jason to stop in Daytona Beach to satisfy his single-minded goal of getting laid. Jason resists, reminding his grandpa of the wedding. Of course Dick finds Meredith to be all wrong for Jason and never hesitates to let him know. Jason and Dick run into Shadia, Lenore and Tyrone at which point, the rest of the story is laid (excuse the expression) before us while the characters and situations settle into the expected.
We already know Daytona and its spring break distractions and Shadia's presence will test Jason's commitment to his career and engagement as Dick does his level best to show his grandson a wild, rollicking time. Lenore continues her seductive designs on Dick, even after she learns he isn't a professor, and Jason discovers Shadia belongs to hippy-ish environmental group that studies the effects of global warming on the ocean. Naturally the love-interest would turn out to be an artist and a hippy; two things the straight-arrow Meredith could never be. And a whole bag of issues bundled together are dealt with in the remaining half-hour, including the grandfather-son-grandson relationship and Jason's career and engagement, which we know will be altered forever under Shadia's influence.

Most of the characters I found amusing were the more peripheral ones, like the surf-shop owner/drug dealer Pamela (Jason Mantzoukas), who turns up often in the film, always peddling drugs or encouraging others to use them. Another amusing character is Jason's cousin Nick (Adam Pally), who has a funny habit of saying exactly what's on his mind; usually something obscene. Unfortunately I didn't find the other characters, particularly De Niro's or Efron's, very funny. Danny Glover's cameo is puzzling and almost pointless and strange; leaving us to wonder why the filmmakers bothered to include his character at all.

As I state earlier, the film's crude humor didn't bother me so much as Mazer's inability to find the material's comic potential, which is strange; given that his writing credentials include Borat and Bruno; two films that found much hilarity in daring and risky situations. Dirty Grandpa has dirty talk but a prudish walk and becomes slave to its Hollywood comedy conventions. Even Dick, who can't open his mouth without sexual comments or profanity spewing out early on, turns out to be just an elderly man who misses his wife and who longs to re-establish a relationship with his family. Aside from a few moments, the theater was gravely silent throughout the film, which always says much about the quality of a comedy.

Zac Efron and De Niro have proven elsewhere that they can be funny but this film let them down. Still, they gave it the old college try. Maybe another time.
Yeah...maybe another time.