Miracles from Heaven

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Patricia Riggen/Starring: Jennifer Garner, Kylie Rogers, Martin Henderson, Queen Latifah, Eugenio Derbez and John Carroll Lynch

When I first saw the trailer to director Patricia Riggen's Miracles from Heaven, I thought the syrupy drama/earnestly spiritual story would be an ideal punching bag for this usually fair-minded blogger. After all, I hadn't beaten up on anything in awhile and was itching to bully some poor, unfortunate, shamelessly hokey film. If you've seen the trailer or movie, you too might feel it had it coming. But after seeing the film, I began to feel like a hungry mastiff picking on a toy poodle. Yes, the movie is a schmaltzy eye-roller but does that give me the right to pick on a movie about a terminally sick girl who hasn't long to live and who is as sweet as cotton candy? A girl whose mother will sacrifice everything to keep her living one more day? A girl whose family is so spiritual they host post-Sunday-service gatherings at their home and make the Apostles look like seedy, creepy, jail-house rapists?
Pause for conscience check...

Yeah, what the hell.

Based on author Christy Beam's book of the same name, Miracles from Heaven is a purportedly true story about said terminally ill little girl and her struggle to survive her dire predicament. But the movie isn't just about her seemingly miraculous story but also the mother; Christy Beam (played in earnest overdrive by Jennifer Garner); who never gave up searching for a cure for her daughter. Of course a movie that is practically a billboard for faith usually has a character whose faith is tried in adversity and comes to doubt God's plans. Beam makes an ideal candidate.

Kylie Rogers, who plays Anna Beam with a God's-little-soldier sincerity, feels sharp pains in her abdomen. Her parents; Christy and Kevin (Martin Henderson), begin to worry about Anna's inability to keep food down and her frequent bouts of nausea. After seeing several specialists--all who insist Anna is fine--Christy begins to despair and worse, begins to lose her faith in the higher power she has heretofore never questioned. Though her husband remains unwaveringly faithful, she quite rightly questions why God would visit such horrible suffering on her innocent child. The question is also posed to the community's spiritual leader; Pastor Scott (John Carroll Lynch), who can offer her no succor or satisfactory answer.

Becoming angry and frustrated with doctors who misdiagnose Anna's problem and who virtually ignore her distended stomach, Christy learns of a gastroenterologist specializing in children's illnesses in Boston named Dr. Nurko; a sought after physician whose waiting list is a year long. With Anna in tow, Christy flies to Boston hoping to secure an appointment. Though Christy's efforts to see the doctor are Herculean, she is nevertheless rebuffed. And while Boston proves to be a fruitless endeavor, Christy and Anna meet an African-American woman named Angela (Queen Latifah, in the most thankless, useless and forgettable role of her career) who befriends them and for one day becomes their Bostonian tour-guide.

After returning to Texas, Anna's condition worsens while Christy's faith ebbs further. A chance opening in his schedule brings Christy and Anna back to Boston, where they finally meet Dr. Nurko (Eugenio Derbez). We immediately see from his bedside manner and requisite Elmo tie that his rapport with the children is that of Patch Adams; in other words; superhumanly swell and caring. But though Dr. Nurko offers his expert diagnosis--Anna's lower intestines are twisted, leaving her unable to digest food--he can do little for her but make her comfortable.

The two return to Texas as Christy and Kevin's anxieties swell. A pivotal moment in the film unfolds when Anna and one of her sisters climb a tree in the family's yard (the phoniest-looking tree seen on film since The Wizard of Oz.) When the branch begins to give way, Anna tries to reach the safety of the trunk only to fall inside its hollow interior. A major rescue operation is undertaken and an unconscious Anna is rushed to the hospital. But she recovers from her fall and days after being released, Christy and Kevin notice her distended abdomen has vanished. They immediately return to Dr. Nurko, who finds she has miraculously recovered but cannot account for her cure. Lacking an explanation, he attributes her recovery to what is commonly referred to as spontaneous remission. Ecstatic, Christy says to Dr. Nurko; "you're saying that my little girl fell from the tree, hit her head just right and was suddenly cured...well Doctor, that's impossible." A more pertinent statement might have been; "you're saying God gave my daughter a horrific intestinal condition, ensured she suffered horribly, then made her fall from a tree, nearly breaking her neck, at which point he finally tossed her a bone and cured her...well Doctor, that's the Almighty for you..." But that statement never crossed her mouth.

As we might expect, happiness is showered on the Beam family. And is Christy's faith restored? Well, golly-gee, what do you think?

Of course the real reason for this film to exist is to push the God-did-it solution for Anna's problem. Anna explains to her mother and father that during her tree ordeal, she had an out of body experience, followed by the white tunnel thing and ultimately, contact with his divine-ness, who told her she would be healed. No one seems to consider the possibility that the experience was a hallucination caused by an oxygen deficiency to the brain. No, God intervened and saved the Beam's precious little ray of sunshine (but all the Syrian children who have drowned trying to migrate to Europe are hardly a consideration in the Creator's skull apparently.).

An absurd waste of celluloid like Miracles of Heaven has enough production value to pass for a feature film but movies of this ilk (Heaven is for Real and God is Not Dead) exist only to push the Word; entertainment is an afterthought. What distinguishes this film from the aforementioned is its cast, which has enough name actors to pass for a movie. I can't help but feel sorry for Jennifer Garner and Queen Latifah, who must somehow sell characters that have not a ice-cube-in-hell's chance of being taken for real people, though they represent real people. I give credit for Garner for doing her best not to condescend to the material even though playing it straight and earnest didn't do her performance much good. I can only hope her paycheck was sweet.

The only film that will most likely be worse than this toe-jam is the forthcoming God is Not Dead 2. So many films in this Season of Swill dealing with Christ and God and not one of them worth a damn...actually, they are worth damnation.
This film should only be played in places of worship during Sunday services, not multiplex screens; otherwise, someone might get the impression the film means to entertain rather than proselytize. If this flick really is a Miracle from Heaven, then what do you call a curse from Hell?