Central Intelligence

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber/Starring: Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Amy Ryan, Danielle Nicolet and Aaron Paul

Central Intelligence has Hollywood mass market, factory product written all over it, which means the movie will be more about star power than quality movie-making. But in spite of the movie-from-a-mold look and feel, director Rawson Marshall Thurber's comedy isn't a drag. It actually goes down smoothly but I wished the creative minds behind the project had gotten more out of the pairing of its two very likeable stars: Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson. Thurber and company are very aware of their glaring, physical differences (how could one not be?) and they do employ role-reversal--Johnson plays the character with self-esteem issues while Hart's is the former high-school star. But the shortcomings of these films are always the same: lack of creative reach and formulaic characters though Central Intelligence also encumbers itself with a clunky, CIA plot. If not for both actor's charm, Thurber's film would be disposable on arrival.

Beginning twenty-years in the past, we see Robbie Weirdicht--(Dwayne Johnson); a grossly overweight high school kid (Johnson's face CGI'd onto a real body), taking a shower in the school locker room. Seemingly alone, Robbie dances merrily, unashamed of his beefy frame. Unbeknownst to him, a group of bullies watch from around a wall. They approach Robbie shortly thereafter, looking to make his life miserable. Meanwhile, in the school gymnasium, the school's track star and most popular kid; Calvin "The Jet" Joyner (Kevin Hart) enjoys the enthusiastic applause of the student body. While he addresses the gathering, the gym doors burst open. The bullies then hurl Robbie's naked, large body onto the gym floor. Humiliated before his peers, the one person who offers him help is Calvin, who removes his letterman jacket to provide Robbie the means to cover his nakedness. We know the events in the school gym will he a key moment in the character's lives. (question: why would Robbie be taking a shower during a school assembly?)

Twenty-years later, in the present, we see Calvin at his job at an accounting firm and at home with his beautiful wife, Maggie (Danielle Nicolet). Feeling acute disappointment that his life has failed to build on his success in high school and is less than exciting, his anxiety is made more acute when he receives an invitation to his high school reunion. Calvin is determined not to go, in spite of his wife's urging,
A perplexing Facebook invitation from a Bob Stone turns out to be none other than Robbie Weirdicht. Robbie's invitation to have a drink leaves Calvin uneasy but he accepts nevertheless. Expecting to see an older version of Robbie, Calvin is flabbergasted to see Robbie has transformed himself into a towering mass of muscle. As the two sit for a drink, the pretty blonde waitress can't help throwing herself at Robbie while she looks dismissively at Calvin. It is particularly funny to see Robbie wearing a corny, unicorn t-shirt; which the waitress loves but looks utterly ridiculous on a muscle-bound man. Robbie showers Calvin with compliments and reminds him that he was the only one who helped him during his degrading ordeal in high school. Robbie is honest with Calvin and forthcoming about his unhappiness and boredom with his life. When a group of bar toughs challenge Robbie to a fight, Calvin tries desperately to defuse the situation until he watches Robbie give all three men a sound beating.

Calvin soon discovers his friend is into something fishy when Robbie asks him to look into some accounting records that contain alarming lists of sizeable payments. The next day, a CIA agent named Pamela Harris (Amy Ryan) finds Calvin at his house and questions him as to what he knows about Robbie. Harris tells Calvin that Robbie is a rogue CIA agent and is in possession of top secret information concerning satellite codes. Before long, Calvin is drawn into Robbie's cat and mouse game with Harris and the CIA, who believe him to be The Black Badger; a terrorist intent on selling the codes to the highest bidder.

The CIA stuff is less interesting than Calvin and Robbie's relationship, which develops in spite of the espionage nonsense the movie takes too seriously. Robbie's quest to regain his self-esteem, which still bears scars from his high school years, and Calvin's search for a more interesting life, are the real stories within the over-cooked plot.

We know how this will play out. The characters will work out their problems and Robbie will get even with the high school bully (a cameo appearance by a well-known actor) at the high school reunion (where another well-known actor makes an appearance). And of course we know the real Black Badger will eventually emerge.

As stated earlier, I found the CIA angle boring and cliched. If only they had made Harris a funny parody of a CIA agent, it would have expanded the comedy quotient. At least they played with Dwayne Johnson's onscreen tough-guy persona by giving him body-image issues and making more unsure of himself. Hart's character and performance was more on a default setting. We've seen him play this character before and it's wearing thin. Time for something new.

When I first heard Hart and Johnson were to star in a movie together, the idea had great appeal. The very sight of a Goliath like Johnson and a diminutive actor like Hart playing anything onscreen together seemed like a can't fail enterprise. As I mentioned earlier, they could have done much more with the story but Hollywood seldom thinks past casting in movies of this ilk. The movie manages not to be dull, which is due largely to both actors, who have a lot of screen presence and charm.

I'm trying to recall particular moments in the movie but they are quickly eluding me as the days pass. If you see the film, you may suffer the same movie-goers dementia as I have. See the movie if you can't resist Kevin Hart or Dwayne Johnson. Otherwise; wait for something better.

Get Hard

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Etan Cohen/Starring: Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, Craig T. Nelson, Alison Brie and John Mayer

First-time director Etan Cohen's Get Hard is an intermittently funny raunch-fest and like most Hollywood comedies, it can't establish and maintain a comedic pace that is entirely satisfying. Its failings can't be ascribed to its cast, because the film's strength lay in its two leads; funny men Will Ferrell and stand-up comic Kevin Hart; who know their way around a funny line and a gag. The film does manage to reach for the outrageous at times but more often it settles for quick and easy rather than comically inventive.

The story centers on James (Will Ferrell), a very successful trader who is offered a promotion by his boss Martin (Craig T. Nelson). Success comes at a price, for a disgruntled rival is vehemently opposed to James' good fortune.

The woman behind James' climb to the financial Empyrean is his fiancé--and boss' daughter--Alissa (Alison Brie). Alissa's Lady MacBeth ambitions tolerate no dithering or indecision on the part of her man and she is less than sympathetic when she finds her fiance is under arrest on charges of securities fraud. Slave to the lavish lifestyle she and her husband enjoy, Alissa lets nothing obstruct her pursuit of material needs.

Meanwhile, Darnell (Kevin Hart), a struggling foreman of a car-cleaning service, who wields an irrepressible entrepreneurial spirit, comes into contact with James, whose vehicle is in Darnell's care. Looking for an investor for his own car-cleaning business, Darnell approaches James for $30,000, only to be condescendingly brushed off. It is slightly amusing to see James panic when Darnell knocks on his car window; thinking a robbery is in progress.

After James is sentenced to ten years in San Quentin, he panics, knowing his time in jail won't be served in a cushy Federal prison, but the formidable San Quentin penitentionary. Aware that his chance of escaping rape and violent assault behind bars is very slim, he decides to enlist Darnell's help in how to survive prison life, holding to the bigoted notion that most black men have served jail-time. Incensed, Darnell takes umbrage until James offers money for his services that matches the investment he needs for his business. The wrinkle in Darnell's plan is that he has never been incarcerated. Unwilling to lose the money, he consults a cousin who has served time.

Immersing himself in his mission, Darnell transforms James' lush home into a simulated prison environment. He also has the house staff, who aren't exactly fond of their boss, assume the roles of prison guards and fellow inmates.

This is ripe for comedic plunder but Cohen never fully exploits its possibilities. Darnell spends more time trying to toughen a weak, cowardly James for the eventualities of both anal and oral rape.

In a sequence that shows some daring, Darnell and James visit a gay hangout for the express purpose of James propositioning a man to perform fellatio. Unfortunately, the subsequent scene where James finds himself on his knees before another man in a bathroom stall plays too long and is leached of its humorous potential. While James recoils in fear and loathing, Darnell resists the advances of a man back at the bar. The whole scene smacks a little of homophobia but it earns points for its willingness to pursue raunch to extremes.

The film would like to be about James' gradual conversion from heartless capitalist to hero sensitive to class struggle and racial disparity. Somehow a lowest common denominator comedy featuring a character like James always seems to be somewhat incongruous. Dumb Hollywood comedies would do better to stick to the tasteless jokes and leave socially conscious messages to more sophisticated satire.

So eventually both parties work out their respective issues and a campaign to smear James comes to light; no earth-shattering revelations here. Some gags hit home while others are dead on arrival or delivery. Ferrell and Hart manage to keep it all afloat long enough for the film to reach the end credits. Alison Brie makes an interesting shrew but Craig T. Nelson is unfortunately only asked to hit his marks.

It's interesting to note that a group of teenagers sitting in front of me at the late show were actually smoking weed. The teens desperately fanned the big, billowy clouds of smoke to avoid detection. I don't remember seeing anyone attempt anything so brazen in a movie theater, but I thought, good for them, maybe they'll find the movie uproariously funny now. I wish they had passed their magic wand back to me; I could have used it. No such luck; I was forced to watch it all with my senses intact. Maybe the young folks had the right idea. Keep that in mind if you feel an uncontrollable impulse to see Get Hard.

Or maybe skip the movie and just get stoned.