I thought I would celebrate another blog milestone--my 250th posting--by doing a follow-up to my successful Pantheon of the Overrated, the Overpraised and the Oppressively Empty-headed. This posting is kind of incongruent in that it's denigrative AND celebratory; I compile another short list of people and movies that irritate, or, in the case of Wes Anderson, mildly disappoint me while also expressing elation. You might think Al is praising himself while knocking others. If you get that impression, I apologize; that isn't my intention. In a future iteration of The Pantheon, I'll be sure to not have two, mutually antagonistic concepts collide.
But here we are again. I didn't really spend days and weeks fuming over this list. It didn't take me long to think of things that vex me in the movie world. If somebody or some film you like is on this list, I apologize in advance but I couldn't suppress my antipathy. I hope you'll see my reasoning behind my choices but if not; it can't be helped. As always, feel free to make comments and add or subtract from my list. I hope you enjoy.
NOTE: It is possible that some personalities included herein could lose their Pantheon status if their future cinematic endeavors convince me they don't belong. As for others, they're stuck here and will suffer eternal unpleasantness in perdition. More on them later.
1. Diablo Cody/Screenwriter: The Overpraised
I recently lambasted screenwriter Diablo Cody for her lackluster Ricki and the Flash script in my review of the film but this isn't the first time the Oscar winner has gotten my goat. I still find her Academy Award for Juno undeserving and bewildering. Jennifer's Body was no better though Young Adult wasn't half-bad. I guess if she wasn't regarded as the reincarnation of Paddy Chayefsky, you wouldn't hear boo from me. Could I change my mind about her? If she has more Young Adults and fewer Ricki and the Flashes, anything is possible.
2. Julia Roberts/Actress: The Overpraised
You might wonder why I would categorize Julia Roberts as overpraised. Let's be clear on this; I'm not referring to her acting, as she is universally regarded (I think) as a mediocre actress ( or at least by me), but to the almost universally accepted notion that Ms. Roberts is the most beautiful woman to ever breathe on this four-billion-year old planet. Why should something so silly rankle me? When considering some otherworldly beauties that have appeared on the silver screen since its inception, I feel compelled to pose the question: can this chick's supposed comeliness really compare to the likes of Greta Garbo, Louise Brooks, Ingrid Bergman, Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn? The fawning media, who seem to be unable to refer to her as anything but stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, etc, seem to think so. I realize one's opinions on beauty are highly subjective, but really folks, is she really all that? I'm sorry, but that weird mouth and that nose that could open envelopes just don't do it for me. If you think I'm being mean, remember she remains impervious to criticism and still retains her outsized popularity. Her estimated wealth of $140 million should also act as a salve for any wounded feelings (like she would actually read this blog or care what I think).
3. Jules and Jim/Director: Francois Truffaut: The Overrated and The Overpraised
I've never been able to sit through this movie without drowsiness assaulting me viciously. I think Truffaut made some fine films, like The 400 Blows and Day for Night but Jules and Jim is often regarded as one of his masterworks, which is laughable. The story of a love triangle between two dullards and a woman who is as interesting as petri dish mold (in spite of the fact that the great Jeanne Moreau plays said woman) is criminally dull and seemingly endless though it has a relatively lean running time at 105 minutes. The film has no reason not to be interesting, especially since the story is partly a period piece. I know my assessment of Jules and Jim is mostly a minority opinion but some fellow cinephiles have admitted to me that they too find it to be a brick. Good thing Truffaut has better, more praiseworthy work in his oeuvre.
4. Titanic/Director: James Cameron: The Overpraised and The Oppressively Empty-headed
11 Academy-Awards. Think about that. Goodfellas, a far superior film, won 1 award (Best Supporting Actor for Joe Pesci) 6 years earlier. 11 awards for what? Actually, I can understand it garnering technical awards; I have no qualms about that but Best Picture? At least Cameron didn't get nominated for best screenplay. The dialogue and story are so subservient to the theme-park effects one wonders why Cameron bothered with characters and a narrative. He could have just as easily started the movie with the sinking of the ship. I haven't seen the movie since it was released but at the time I saw it twice. I saw it a second time to be sure it was as moronic as it appeared the first time. The dialogue is so bad (listen to the nonsense DiCaprio has to utter in the dining room scene) and so much of the story is glaringly anachronistic yet this film dazzled critics and made a billion dollars at the box office worldwide. I will forever hold L.A. Times film critic Kenneth Turan in the highest esteem for being one of the few reviewers to see the creakiness behind the film's Disney World ambitions. Turan believed the film to be so bad "it almost makes you weep in frustration." I can't imagine what the movie might look like now; I don't have the stomach to revisit it. Oh God of Oblivion, please grant this film what it truly deserves...
5. Miranda July/Director/Screenwriter: The Overpraised
Who is Miranda July, you might ask? She came to minor (very minor) indie prominence in this century with two films: Me and You and Everyone We know and The Future; two odd films that eschew traditional narrative conventions and embrace surreal imagery. I have no problem with that; in fact, I welcome those approaches to film-making. My real problem with July and her films is the fulsome praise awarded her by the entertainment media every-time she releases a new film. Her films aren't bad. They have their moments but they are easy to forget. After an hour of her feature films, I'm usually thinking; okay, this is pleasantly weird but when will it end? I remember a piece on July that appeared just before the release of The Future in the New York Times Magazine. I can't remember who wrote the article but it was full of excessive praise and outlandish awe usually reserved for the behemoths of cinema. I haven't heard of any works in progress but you'll know when the next film arrives; the clouds will part to allow blinding shafts of celestial light to bathe the Earth. Miranda July will then descend in a golden chariot; her newest film held aloft in a golden canister for all us unworthy moviegoers to behold with our unworthy eyes.
Then we'll all have trouble recalling what the film was about the next day.
6. American Beauty/Director: Sam Mendes: The Overrated and The Oppressively Empty-headed
The only film in Sam Mendes' filmography that I actually liked is Skyfall; the last James Bond installment. For a director who has lofty, artistic ambitions (none that he has ever realized), this is highly peculiar. How did Mendes earn an unearned reputation (it has probably vanished now after a string of dreary dramas) for being a serious filmmaker? Why, it was due to a risible bit of nonsense he directed back in last months of the old century called American Beauty, which fooled critics and moviegoers alike into believing the movie and director were serious business. The movie; a story about suburban discord and unhappiness, claimed artistic distinction. But hammy performances (two of which were Annette Bening and Kevin Spacey's, no less) and one infamously self-conscious shot of a swirling plastic bag (director Todd Solondz satired this shot beautifully in Storytelling), not to mention a hoot of a line uttered by Wes Bentley: "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in," made it difficult not to roll one's eyes. I think the movie has been mercifully forgotten though in 1999 one might have thought Mendes and his movie had been granted Shakespearian stature by national film critics.
7. Wes Anderson/Director/Screenwriter: Overpraised.
I don't think Anderson really belongs in the Pantheon. I've liked a few of his films and he may well impress me again in the future but he mostly disappoints me. His last three feature films have been showcases for his shtick, which I'm tiring quickly of. Make no mistake, Anderson is a talented director but I feel he wastes a lot of time with silly trifles, like The Grand Budapest Hotel; which was a wonderful, visual conception but self-consciously and tiresomely zany. This criticism could also be leveled at the two films prior to Grand Budapest; Moonrise Kingdom and The Darjeeling Limited. I refuse to give up on Anderson; I feel a masterpiece is somewhere in his future. I hope so. Until that happens, I'll see whatever he makes. Forgive me, Wes, for your appearance on this list; you don't really deserve it.
So there you have it, folks. I hope you enjoyed visiting the Pantheon. Thanks for helping me celebrate my landmark posting. I also want to thank those who revisit my blog on a regular basis: all three of you.
See you soon.
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