Welcome to Me

**Spoiler Alert**

Director Shira Piven/Starring: Kristen Wiig, Wes Bentley, Joan Cusack, Jennifer Jason Leigh, James Marsden, Tim Robbins, Linda Cardellini and Thomas Mann

Shira Piven's Welcome to Me is one of those films that is so self-consciously weird that its weirdness becomes a tiresome contrivance. It goes well out of its way to be strange but at times it can elicit a chuckle when it isn't trying too hard to be bizarre. Director Shira Piven's film makes a reasonably good entrance, only to stumble then drag itself to a whimsical end.

Kristen Wiig plays Alice Klieg, a manic-depressive living in the fictional southern Californian town of Palm Desert. She spends part of her days in therapy, where Dr. Daryl Moffet (Tim Robbins) administers psychiatric guidance and prescriptions. The other part are spent in front of the T.V., idolizing Oprah Winfrey; lip-syncing her on-screen patter and gleaning morsels of Oprah-wisdom dispensed on air.

Among Alice's possessions are small stacks of losing lottery tickets. In an early scene, Alice tunes in to a televised lottery drawing. As the numbers are called, we see that Alice has won the $86 million (actually a lesser amount for a lump sum) jackpot. Ecstatic and dumbfounded, she can barely breath the words "I'm a winner" into the phone to claim the prize. True to her eccentric nature, she makes a hotel casino her second home then gathers her family and friends for a celebratory meal.

Enthralled with Oprah and her inspirational words, Alice and her friend Gina (Linda Cardellini), visit a live taping of an infomercial at a local T.V. station. During the show, when the host Gabe Ruskin (Wes Bentley) asks for a volunteer to demonstrate a product's effectiveness, Alice is only too eager to walk on stage. The show producer and staff in the booth express dismay when the erratic Alice, commandeers the show with her off-the-wall volatility.

Afterwards, the two brothers who control the station's content; Gabe and Rich Ruskin (James Marsden) invite Alice into their conference room to meet with the production staff. In the course of discussion, Alice lets it be known she wants her own show and when asked what it would be about, she says, "me." Of course the staff, including producer Dawn Hurley (Joan Cusack) and Deb Moseley (Jennifer Jason Leigh) voice their objections, only to be silenced by Alice's $15 million dollar check, which covers the projected production cost of her show.

I don't know about other film-goers, but I always find it excruciating to watch a film about a lottery winner who is hell-bent on squandering his/her fortune on frivolous nonsense. At this point in the film, the total and imminent exhaustion of the fortune seems like a fait accompli.

The show, with its zeitgeist-appropriate title Welcome to Me is naturally a bizarre spectacle that could have been the brainchild of David Lynch and Luis Bunuel.

The show begins with Alice arriving on a swan followed by re-enactments of slights suffered by Alice during her life, which share air-time with cooking segments featuring outlandish and unpalatable culinary creations, like a frosting-topped meatloaf. The staff, looking on in the booth, watch incredulously. The show manages to draw viewers and even a few admirers.

Gabe begins to have qualms about his brother's willingness to exploit Alice. Before long, Gabe and Alice begin a romance, which catches a snag during one of her rage-filled, flights of mental instability. Her erratic behavior and emotional vulnerability begin to impair her judgement. Alice has a fling with a fawning fan named Rainer Ybarra (Thomas Mann) which doesn't escape Gabe's notice.

As the show continues on its weird course and Alice's un-medicated self holds the production staff captive, her self-involved antics begin to wear on her loved ones, particularly her best friend Gina.

I suppose Piven's film is commentary on the narcissism gripping the country and it makes a convincing case of its pandemic reach. Approaching the topic with absurdist humor is a good way to go but the film asphyxiates in its weirdness. Don't get me wrong; I like weird but when it's a film's selling point rather than an element of its storytelling, it becomes a tiresome affectation, as it is here. As the story progresses, Alice's condition becomes less funny and more tedious.

A film like Welcome to Me could only end happily, which it does. Alice comes to acknowledge her ego-centrism and makes an extraordinarily selfless gesture to her best friend Gina.

The supporting cast was quite terrific when given their time though most are consigned to straight-men roles. When you have actors like Robbins and Cusack; who wield considerable comedic ability, exiled to the margins, it becomes a liability.

As previously stated, the film generates a modicum of laughs but I mostly found the movie to be a one-note joke. If manic-depressive narcissists are your company of choice, then Piven's film is for you. I suppose there is a better comedy out there dealing with this small cross-section of American society but that's another film. At least this one makes a case for not skipping one's meds.

The D Train

**Spoiler Alert**

Directors: Andrew Mogel, Jarrad Paul/Starring: Jack Black, James Marsden, Kathryn Hahn, Jeffrey Tambor and Mike White

Many people carry some residual high school anxieties in their psyche; the fear of alienation, being hopelessly uncool and probably worst of all, the sentence of social pariahdom. And for many, the high school experience stigmatizes one almost permanently. Though most people I know (including myself) would rather be water-boarded than attend any school reunion, others find the idea appealing.

Dan Landsman (Jack Black), the self-appointed chairman of his high school reunion committee, pursues the task of organizing his class reunion with passionate earnestness. Unfortunately, his fellow committee members (who are also former classmates), treat him with the same low regard he probably endured in high school. When the film begins, we see him setting up an ad hoc committee call center with dedicated meticulousness; setting out donuts and setting up phones for his peers. When he mentions going out for a beer with the committee after an evening of cold calling classmates, the others casually decline his offer. But on his way home, he sees the committee members enter a bar together.

At home, we see Dan enjoy a more favorable estimation from his wife Stacey (an excellent Kathryn Hahn) and his son Zach (Russell Posner).

One evening, while watching T.V., Dan sees an ad for Banana Boat tanning lotion. The spot features a beef-cakey life-guard monitoring a busy beach. Dan realizes the lifeguard is none other than his former classmate Oliver Lawless (a very excellent James Marsden). Excited, Dan annoys Stacey by rousing her from her sleep to show her the ad, only to be scolded harshly.

Seeing Oliver inspires a plan in which Dan will fly to L.A. to convince the actor to attend the reunion. Imagining himself walking into the reunion with a very hip-looking Oliver; gaining social prestige and maybe respect from his classmates only strengthens his resolve. Of course the plan entails some measure of prevarication, as Dan explains to Stacey that his week-long mission to L.A. is a business while he proposes the trip to his boss Bill (the always amusing Jeffrey Tambor) as a bold initiative to lure a new client for the consulting business. The plan backfires when Bill insists he join Dan on the trip, for which no amount of dissuasion from the latter will discourage the former. The fact that Dan would lie to both his boss and his wife then create a situation in L.A. that demands he fake a meeting with a fictitious client is plausible if Dan's reunion anxieties are severe, which they are. Does Dan seem like the type of person who would cast discretion and common sense to the wind in a reckless pursuit of something so seemingly trivial? Not really, but we read of stranger acts undertaken by people who are otherwise levelheaded and risk-averse.

The obsession to sell the reunion idea to Oliver has unfortunate consequences at home; Dan begins to ignore Zach and his girl troubles; a neglected issue which has long-reaching ramifications.

Directors Mogel and Paul, who also co-penned the script, set up a juicy, tension-filled scenario (if not entirely believable) where Dan's job, marriage, father/son relations and his shaky standing with the reunion committee are all highly jeopardized.

In L.A., Dan meets Oliver for drinks and clubbing. Sporting trendy facial hair to offset his inveterate un-coolness, Dan also affects cool dude patter in his attempt to cajole Oliver into attending the reunion. While Bill spends time in his hotel room, preparing for a phantom meeting, Dan and Oliver party ferociously, making the club rounds, drinking heavily and partaking of a powdery substance in the process. Unfortunately for Dan, Oliver casually dismisses the reunion idea.

Over a few days course, we begin to see how Dan's lofty estimation of Oliver grows out of proportion. In an attempt to impress Dan and create the illusion of celebrity, Oliver pretends to know Dermott Mulroney (yes, the real Dermott Mulroney), who they spot sitting in a booth; his entourage very present. Mulroney is naturally puzzled after Oliver initiates conversation. The ruse works. Oliver returns to an admiring Dan, who sees him as someone herculean.

At this point in the film, the story takes a risk I found to be pretty mind-blowing for multiplex fare. In the afterglow of the evening, Dan finds himself in Oliver's shabby apartment. As the two trade bro-talk, they find themselves standing closer and closer until the two spontaneously embrace then engage in a passionate kiss. Where it leads we can guess as the two men wake then next morning; side by side. Though Oliver is unphased by the encounter, the act leaves Dan shaken and confused.

On the Bill front, Oliver pretends to be the client the two men are supposed to meet. Just when Oliver pretends to kill a deal that might free Dan from a potential disaster, the actor gets caught up in the emotional excitement of the deal. In a moment of detrimental spontaneity, he agrees to Bill's deal.

Returning home, Dan faces personal and professional ruin as his ruse is tenuously maintained while the emotional aftershocks of sex begins to wildly affect his behavior. Dan tries to discourage Oliver from attending the reunion for fear of their secret becoming public consumption. To his dismay, he discovers his erstwhile lover is dead set on attending.

In the second half of the film, we see Dan trying to put his family back together, dealing with possible job loss while a major confrontation at the reunion turns the event on its head.

I was particularly taken with the performances, especially James Marsden's and Jack Black's. Marsden hasn't really had the opportunity to shine in any film but he does so here. Jack Black has shown he has the acting chops to take on dramatic roles; an opportunity he doesn't waste as the socially vilified Dan Landsman.

Though we live in slightly enlightened times, the sex scene remains a surprise. The filmmakers don't treat the act as something freakish but as something two non-gay men might enjoy given the circumstances. And the secret they share doesn't crowd out the rest of the story, which deals with other issues, most notably Dan's search for social redemption and its lack of proportion in meaning to the idea of marriage and family.

I was a little disappointed to find the film didn't arrive at any great truth. Dan learns he must appreciate what he has, namely his wife and son but is it that all? Given what's transpired, it's hard to imagine someone would glean such prosaic wisdom from something out of the ordinary. How does the fling and the cataclysmic reunion affect him? Does the film give us a convincing clue?

I did find the final scene between Dan and Oliver refreshingly honest. What is obvious to everyone and the audience is articulated by Oliver as he disabuses Dan of his greatest illusions; his lack of celebrity status and his faked encounter with Dermott Mulroney.

I was taken in by the story; it offered something unusual and was a radical departure from traditional Hollywood fare. I didn't find the film to be hilarious but was amusing at times and if it doesn't posit anything profound, it also refuses to be business as usual. It takes the familiar suburban milieu with its stock inhabitants then wrenches it; defying the ordinary.

The D-Train is a Spring surprise. But my prognosis for the film is total and complete burial. In this cinema season where blockbusters crowd out anything with a modest budget and little marketing muscle, a film like Mogel and Paul's will lose out to costumed super things whose success is all but forcibly assured. Theirs isn't a great film but for first-time directors, it is a helluva start. I say see it before theater managers hurry the film canisters on UPS trucks and ship them back to the studio. I guess I should give the studio itself credit for letting it exist, albeit briefly, in cineplex venues. Will this happen again? Who knows? But sometimes anomalies morph into something commonplace. We'll wait and see.

The Loft

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Erik Van Looy/Starring: Karl Urban, James Marsden, Wentworth Miller, Eric Stonestreet, Matthias Schoenaerts, Isabel Lucas and Rachael Taylor

The murder/mystery The Loft, which tells the story of five friends who find a murdered woman in the loft they co-own and share for extramarital trysts, is so overcrowded with red-herrings and inexplicable lapses in logic that by the final half-hour, one is overcome with exhaustion. And with that weary exasperation comes a powerful indifference to the characters and the outcome. The beginning isn't bad, the middle falters some then the end staggers into some sort of unsatisfying resolution.

Karl Urban (on leave from Star Trek, where he makes a terrific Dr. McCoy) plays Vincent Stevens, an architect of some renown who, with his other pals Chris (James Marsden), Luke (Wentworth Miller), Marty (Eric Stonestreet), and Phillip (Matthias Schoenaerts; how he suffered slum free-fall from the film Rust and Bone is anybody's guess), agree to share said loft in a building of his own design. The film views their philandering as a matter-of-fact, which is just how the friends view the loft. Vincent offers it as a safe alternative to potentially compromising hotel rooms. He presents each of his friends with a key, which comes with some basic loft rules; one is that each owner must alert the others when it is to be used and another is that its existence be kept from everyone not part of the circle.

The film begins with an interrogation, as some of the friends sit before detectives, reluctantly fielding questions. We discover soon after that a blonde woman lays bloody in the loft bed. Luke is the first to discover her and after a moment of shock, he quickly contacts the others. Before long, the friends are all gathered and looking askance at one another; leveling accusations and trying to decide on a course of action.
The woman's identity isn't immediately revealed, which is supposed to be a sly attempt to create suspense--and further the mystery.

The story backtracks a year (as these films tend to do) to give us a sense of how the friends became embroiled in such a mess.
We see the five men in attendance at Phillip's wedding. Phillip's wild, volatile nature makes him unlikely candidate for marriage but his personality will later incriminate him. The other men are not unlike Phillip; dudes with raging libidos, always prowling for members of the opposite sex.

Chris eyes a blonde bombshell named Anne (Rachael Taylor), who happens to be the lover of a prominent city official. Anne's blonde hair immediately qualifies her to be the dead woman on the bed or is it another red herring? The two begin a heated affair, and to complicate matters, he falls in love with her.

Their wives register as mostly dull shrews, particularly Chris' wife Allison (Rhona Mitra), whose humorless severity alone makes her a suspect. The only wife with any personality is Marty's, who seems to be more flesh and blood than the others.

A key sequence in the film involves Vincent, Luke and Marty as they meet in San Diego for fun and frolics. During a night out at a bar, Vincent meets his own blonde object of desire; a woman named Sarah (Isabel Lucas), which also leads to a torrid affair that will impact not only on his marriage but his friendships as well.

While the men argue in the present about what to do about the dead girl and whether to contact the police, one of them discovers a message written in blood on the bed stand; a Latin phrase that translates to "fate will unite us;" a cryptic message whose meaning eventually becomes clear.
The use of Latin is useful, plot-wise, for it serves as yet another red herring when Phillip's father-in-law just happens to use Latin casually in conversation. It is a coincidence that is too coincidental, which makes the diversionary tactic easily dismissible.

It eventually becomes known that Vincent was in the loft the day before the murder, which quickly positions him as the chief suspect though again, such a revelation would oversimplify the plot. We know the culprit's identity lay elsewhere.

The woman's identity is eventually made known to the group (and us), which should make it easy to assign guilt. But again, that would be too easy.
As the police question the friends and the corpse threatens to ruin their lives, it comes to light that Luke had been secretly taping the trysts; which naturally invites the wrath of the others. Though the footage of Vincent's visit should, in effect, solve the mystery, the plot conveniently calls for Luke to have not recorded the tryst. And why would a friend record his best friends' sexual adventures? That bit of expository business is revealed later, which will damn one of the friends and provide motivation for the retribution they eventually seek.

As the messiness begins to unravel, we come closer to a resolution as the the truth behind the mystery is laid bare. Though it comes as a surprise, it isn't a particularly interesting or all that plausible. It is merely one component in a narrative that is mechanically conceived and executed.

The denouement proves to be something of an anticlimax. My eyebrows started to feel heavy as the story began to drag on.

I didn't care enough about any of the characters to really care about the story, which in many ways is nonsensical. Van Looy fails to establish any kind of suspense nor does create situations that feel like the real world.

For men who are supposed to be educated, they behave in ways noone with even a small clump of brain matter would. While staring at the dead body, a few of the friends start messing with the crime scene though most people would have the good sense to leave it uncompromised. And why would anyone befriend such a vile human being like Marty, who wears his misogyny like a gaudy tie and who can't seem to open his mouth without something offensive spilling out? But then again, how many men in the story can be said to have redeeming virtues, or even one? It isn't an imperative that characters be likeable but how many of the characters in this film make for intriguing scoundrels? Many questions and yet, I wasn't interested enough to want to know the answers.

The Loft proves to be nothing more than a shoddily constructed mystery/thriller. A group of friends confronted with a dead woman isn't a new plot device. I was reminded of the equally inane film, Very Bad Things, where a celebration in Las Vegas leads to a woman's death. At least that film was played for laughs.

Maybe it's time to retire this threadbare, cliched premise.

The film will languish, no doubt in theaters until it surfaces on DVD or streaming in the not-too distant future. Unless you can't bear to not know how it all ends, I wouldn't wait around for it.