X-Men: Apocalypse

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Bryan Singer/Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Oscar Isaac, Rose Byrne, Olivia Munn, Tye Sheridan, Nicholas Hoult, Evan Peters, Sophie Turner, Kodi-Smit McPhee and Ally Sheedy

Professor X's gang is back for another CGI carnival; X-Men: Apocalypse; director Bryan Singer's latest franchise installment. The cast for this franchise seems to be growing at an exponential rate. This time we have the ferociously talented Oscar Isaac joining the magnificently-talented Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy for a movie that is fairly entertaining but hardly distinguished. The film's propulsion operates on casting and acting power rather than solid storytelling and a riveting plot. For me, any movie starring Jennifer Lawrence, Fassbender, McAvoy and Isaac is reason enough to pay the admission price. The four actors are solid anchors for a comic book movie that resembles not only the series predecessors but The Avengers. I'm starting to confuse the respective franchises.

In the latest story, we see ancient Egypt, or an idealized, comic book version thereof. Under an enormous pyramid, a ritual is in process which will transfer the soul and power from a god-like being known as En Sabah Nur to another, thus ensuring life everlasting. But saboteurs ensure the transference fails, which destroys the pyramid; leaving Nur buried under rubble; dormant for centuries thereafter.

In present day Egypt, CIA operative Moira Mactaggert (Rose Byrne) trails a group of men who unearth an underground passage to En Sabah Nur's burial site. Mactaggert watches in dismay as the all-powerful entity is resurrected.

In another part of the world, we see Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender), otherwise known as Magneto, working anonymously in a Polish foundry; his identity concealed from his co-workers. In hiding from the world, Magneto has managed to start a family and maintain a low profile. But when he uses his powers to save a fellow co-worker, the authorities become aware of his true identity. Not long after, Lehnsherr, his wife and child are confronted in the woods by a posse of law enforcement officers with non-metallic bows and arrows. One projectile is accidentally discharged, killing Magneto's daughter and wife. Though powerless to manipulate any weapon lacking metallic properties, a chain with a medallion is used to dispatch all the officers in an efficient, lethal manner.

Meanwhile, in Westchester County, NY; Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) seeks out Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) to alert him to Magneto's whereabouts. Though a mutant, Mystique's reluctance to connected to the organization or to even be referred to as her crime-fighting appellation is acute, which contrasts sharply with Xavier's commitment to helping and guiding all mutants.

While Mystique and Xavier concern themselves with Magneto, Nur wanders Egyptian streets, observing all that has become of the world he once knew. Feeling nothing but contempt for what he sees, he initiates an agenda to cleanse the world. He enlists others with mutant powers: Storm (Ororo Munroe); a waif who sees Nur use his powers to dispatch a group of men who accost him on the city streets; Angel (Ben Hardy); another mutant whose powerful wings serve as offensive and defensive weapons and Psylocke (Olivia Munn), whose weapons of choice are dual lethal swords. Utilizing his god-like powers, Nur augments his follower's abilities; rendering them more dangerous. But the most dangerous recruit is Magneto himself, who sees Nur's plan for global destruction a goal worthy of his own.

Xavier and the X-Men become aware of Nur when he and his newly formed group infiltrate their headquarters for the express purpose of kidnapping Professor X, whose ability to detect and communicate with mutants worldwide becomes highly coveted. When Nur and his team succeed in kidnapping Xaver, Mystique becomes the reluctant leader of a rescue team which consists of Quicksilver (Evan Peters), Beast/Hank McCoy (Nicholas Hoult; sporting cool-looking blue hair and beard), Jane Grey (Sophie Turner), Cyclops (Tye Sheridan), and Nightcrawler (Kodi-Smit McPhee), whose ability to transport himself instantaneously through space becomes highly useful. But their efforts go awry when a mutant-hating Colonel named Stryker captures the team and imprisons them in a cell in a secret facility. This subplot is kind of fun. The group discovers another famous mutant being held in the facility. Nightcrawler and Jane Grey manage to help the group escape, which leads them on a collision course with Nur and his followers, who have already begun the process of transferring Xavier's mighty powers of mind to the Egyptian God. But the group must also stop Magneto, whose augmented powers have been harnessed to destroy cities and bridges worldwide.
The latter half of the film is the inevitable battle between the X-Men and Nur's super-mutant team.

Director Bryan Singer is an old hat with Marvel movies, having directed several through his career. He coaxes a reasonably interesting story from his co-written script and gives the X-Men a formidable foe to test their powers against. Nur is an interesting villain with unbelievable power but somehow he becomes a bit bumbling during the climactic fight. What looked like an unbeatable villain early on proves to be less dangerous later in the film. What little suspense the story held was established early on but it spilled away in the second half.

It's tough blogging about superhero films because the normal critical foci; direction, cinematography, acting, etc., play second fiddle to the almighty visuals. With superhero flicks, it's CGI-uber-alles.

But in spite of the towering visual effects, some humanity manages to sprout. It seems Professor X and Mystique will forever try to convince Magneto that a spark of goodness still exists in him. The indication is that they may have succeeded, which is too bad, considering the X-Men movies are always more fun when Magneto is disgruntled and on a rampage. The series has certainly undergone a youthful makeover; younger actors have now assumed the roles of principal characters.

I think I've come to expect a McDonald's experience with the Marvel movies. One knows a Big Mac's taste will never vary, nor will anything else on a Golden Arches menu. In spite of that fact, we still return; satisfied that some things remain the same, year in, year out. To me, the analogy seems very apt. I get what I expect with superhero movies, so I'm never dissatisfied. But there is hope. Deadpool and Antman offer the genre more humorous possibilities.

Please forgive my afore-expressed editorial but I have little more to say about X-Men: Apocalypse other than it wasn't dull. If you'd rather not cough up a dozen dollars to reach the same conclusion, then might I suggest you see...uh...Captain America: Civil War?

Mortdecai

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: David Koepp/Starring: Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany, Olivia Munn and Jeff Goldblum

Based on the novel series by author Kyril Bonfiglioli, Mortdecai is a comedy about a relatively famous British art dealer who has fallen on hard times and is given an opportunity to rehabilitate his reputation by undertaking an assignment to recover a stolen Goya painting for MI6 and hence, the British government. Johnny Depp plays the title character, which gives him the opportunity to affect a British accent (Hasn't he done this an awful lot in his career?).

Lord Mortdecai's reputation in the art world is shaky at best and he isn't beyond selling patent fakes, which naturally invites collector's wrath and scorn.

When the story begins, Lord Mortdecai, or "Charlie" as he is known, and his wife Johanna (the ever-underwhelming Gwyneth Paltrow) have fallen on hard times, which means selling off prized paintings in his collection and his beloved Rolls Royce. To cause his wife further dismay, he has taken to wearing a pretentious, Victorian-esque mustache that curls upward at the ends. A running gag is the revulsion that overcomes Johanna whenever she kisses her husband. The retching that follows the kiss is supposed to be funny but it isn't amusing and even less so when the gag is trotted out several more times throughout the film.

Mortdecai is visited one day by the head of MI6, who also happens to be an old schoolmate from Oxford named Martland (Ewan McGregor). Martland hopes to enlist Mortdecai's help in finding a Goya that went missing during a restorative cleaning. It becomes known to the audience that Martland has always been in love with Johanna, which hardly endears him to Mortdecai. The thief is known to be a terrorist, though Martland is puzzled as to why said terrorist would want the painting. Mortdecai agrees to help his old classmate but only after some coaxing by Martland, who tries to appeal to his sense of patriotism.

Mortdecai's houseman and bodyguard, Jock (Paul Bettany; probably the only mildly amusing character in the movie) accompanies him in his search, which brings them into contact with unsavory figures in the art world.

As their search leads them abroad, it comes to light that a number was written on the back of the painting; placed there by Herman Goering, who once had the Goya in his possession. The number is a numerical key to a treasure cache resting in a Swiss bank that the terrorist intends to use to finance his organization's operations.

Most bad comedies manage to elicit one chuckle, if not a guffaw from the viewer but not here. I think one might find more reasons to chuckle watching Foxcatcher than Mortdecai. I also think the producers (Depp among them) probably felt the accent and the mustache alone would do all the comedic work, with Depp's British affectations buttressing his performance. Unfortunately they don't. And they aren't funny in and of themselves. With most of the other characters playing the straight-men (with the exception of Jock), we have to turn to Mortdecai for the comedic cues.

Also not funny or interesting is Martland's repeated attempts to steal Johanna away from Mortdecai. A cameo by Olivia Munn as the nymphomaniac daughter of a rival art dealer named Kramf (Jeff Goldblum) goes nowhere, though she turns out to be in cahoots with the terrorist.

As the story leads to a climactic auction house sequence where all parties are involved in the sale of the Goya painting, I found myself impatient for the film to end. I had truly grown tired of not-laughing.

Maybe a more capable director or screenwriter could have wrung some laughs out of the silliness, or maybe the character just isn't that funny. Depp certainly doesn't mind playing ridiculous people but there is something vaguely over-familiar about Lord Mortdecai. Why does if feel as if we've seen this character somewhere before?

I would have liked to see someone like David Niven in this role. I think he would have brought more warmth and color--and more of his signature wit and charm, to the story. And if all Paltrow can lend to the movie are her tallness and blondness, then why not cast a female with strong, comedic ability instead; someone who can be an affective foil to Depp?

Where and how it all ends doesn't really matter. Anyone who has seen the unprepossessing trailer can guess what happens. I truly hope I don't see a trailer in 2016 for Mortdecai 2. That would be tragic. Let's hope we've seen the last of that mustache.

Deliver Us From Evil

**Spoiler Alert**

Director: Scott Derrickson/Starring: Eric Bana, Edgar Ramirez and Olivia Munn

Based on former NYPD officer Ralph Sarchie's book Beware the Night, Derrickson's film portrays Sarchie's experience with demonic possession while serving on the force. The always likeable Eric Bana plays Sarchie while a buff-looking Joel McHale plays his knife-wielding sidekick Butler. I'm more than a little weary of Based On horror flicks where we're supposed to believe the film subject's encounters have at least a whiff of reality behind them. Of course the director has no obligation to traffic in facts but it always seems a bit unfair to claim authenticity then play fast and loose with reality. No matter; it's always best to turn off one's skepticism and enjoy (if the filmmakers allow it). After-all, why do horror films need to be connected to real life events to be thrilling or scary? I think you get my point.

While Sarchie and Butler make the rounds, they are called to investigate a disturbing incident at the Bronx Zoo, where a mother has thrown her two-year old into the lion's pit. When they arrive, they learn the child was hospitalized and deemed in good condition but the mother; a highly-unstable-looking and tattered mess, sits on a park bench, awaiting questioning. When Sarchie tries to question her, she mutters the lyrics to the Doors song, Break on Through, though not with Jim Morrison's urgency. The woman becomes violent, biting Sarchie on the arm. While dealing with his injury, Sarchie and his fellow officers also see a shadowy figure inside the Lion's den who doesn't respond to repeated calls. When Sarchie gains access to the den to question the individual, he slips into the darkness. As he follows said person into the lion's inner-den, he comes face to face with two lions and narrowly escapes an attack.

The strange incident leads to a related-child abuse call which involves a man who seems to be connected to the Bronx Zoo incident. Later, Sarchie discovers the Zoo suspect and two other men were Iraq War veterans who now work as painters for the Zoo suspect's business. The leader of the outfit was on a painting job at the Zoo at the time of Sarchie's investigation. As Sarchie hunts down the leader, he meets a priest in plain clothes named Mendoza who believes the officer is on the trail of something sinister. Sarchie scoffs at talk of exorcisms and spirits but as the investigation unfolds, he begins to see the case does indeed involve a malevolent spirit; one the soldiers accidentally set free when entering a secret cave in Iraq.

The scares are very few and the stories and characters all have a patina of tiredness about them. I was more interested and impatient to learn what the soldiers actually encountered--expository information held from the audience until later in the film. Unfortunately it seems a little anti-climactic when it is revealed.

As brilliant as Friedkin's The Exorcist was and is, it has cursed every horror film dealing with demons and demonic possession ever since. A movie can't be made about the subject without tripping over Friedkin's film. Deliver Us From Evil even begins in Iraq, as The Exorcist did. Seemingly obligatory scenes where people speak in voices not their own, hiss and wear cuts and lesions on their bodies have all been done to bloody death. Why do demons bother possessing the bodies of inconsequential people? Why don't they ever inhabit the bodies of presidents and prime-ministers? One would think Satan and his minions would have a more pressing agenda than pestering a painting company. If the nether-world has time to kill, why not menace Starbucks' baristas or that annoying woman in the ads for Progressive Insurance?

As Mendoza and Sarchie get closer to the center of the mystery, the officer's wife and daughter become a target of the demonic painting company (I hate when that happens). The case then becomes personal for Sarchie as he desperately tries to find where the suspects are holding his family. The story culminates in a spirited (forgive the expression) exorcism, in which Sarchie and Mendoza hope to get the possessed group leader to reveal his wife and daughter's whereabouts; conducting the ritual inside a police interrogation room--a very implausible development but for the movie, kind of fun. The actual exorcism is the highlight of the film and very intense though not exactly scary. The same can be said for the rest of the movie. I found myself trying-not-very-hard to squelch yawns throughout much of the film. Maybe its exorcism-fatigue. I feel I've seen so many in the past decade I could conduct one myself.

Ancient Latin/Syrian writings found in the Iraqi cave are later explained as doors which evil entities can use to enter our world. The demonic group leaves said writings in various areas in the Bronx then paint over them to conceal the doors. One can see now why The Doors music was either mentioned or appeared on the soundtrack. This recalls the Denzel Washington movie Fallen where every spirit-infested individual sings the Stones' Time is on My Side. Didn't think I'd remember where you got the idea, eh Derrickson? I guess the damned have a thing for The Doors. I guess I'm one of them.

Eric Bana is good, as is his convincing Bronx accent, and the movie is far from campy but it just left me bored, bored, bored. Derrickson has dealt with demonic possession before in The Exorcism of Emily Rose so he's no stranger to the subject. He is deft at creating mood and providing a few (very few) frights but adapting a story that purports to be authentically supernatural isn't a free toll to chills and thrills. I stepped out into the multiplex lobby afterward, emerging not from a terrifying experience, but grateful the demon menacing Sarchie wouldn't see my glazed eyes and droopy eye-lids. Maybe I'll see him at Starbucks.